Grief can be one of the strangest journeys we go on. It often causes waves of overwhelming emotions or reactions that confuse us, catch us off guard, and overcome us with the their intensity. We can find ourselves wondering if how we feel is normal, when it will end, and if there is anything we can do. Sometimes, we may not even notice the grief at first, instead it may present as frustration or irritability or increased fatigue. All of this adding to the confusing and strange experience of loss.
These feelings can often intensify as we get close to important dates or holidays. We see others having new experiences and making time for loved ones, we make time for loved ones, and it highlights those that we are missing.
During these times, it can be helpful to focus on acceptance. Grief is out of our control. We may just feel sad or down and there may not be much to do but feel that way and stay in bed or cry. We may find that we are angry and we need to find healthy ways to express that anger, such as listening to angry music or punching a pillow. If we find ourselves wallowing and feeling stuck, that is also okay and normal. Feeling sad means you cared about the person who is gone. If, after awhile, we realize that wallowing is making us feel worse it can then be nice to set small routines such as daily chores or going for a walk. Challenging ourselves to not give in to the fatigue of grief for the whole day, maybe just part of the day.
Whatever your experiences are, in these times of grief, it can be best to let go of logic. Focus instead on the emotions you are having for whatever reason and how you may accept them and let yourself experience them in a healthy way.